I am in a horrible, horrible mood and I need to blow some steam before I BURST. Soccer can seriously just kiss my ass. I walked away from the game tonight wondering why the hell I even tried out for the team. I mean, okay I am glad I tried out and all, and I have had fun up until this point, but I just honestly don't see the point in me even being on the team. The next few weeks are nothing but games and I DONT PLAY. I just dont see any point in even having any desire to play. And I don't. I have absolutely no desire. I make excuses to skip practices and games because I really just don't give a rat's ass. I know that no matter how much dedication I show it doesn't MATTER. People who show up to practices late and goof around and miss like two practices a week STILL get playing time the entire game and that's just the way this works. I have absolutely no desire to put any effort forth. And I am not going to. If I have nothing to work towards, if I have no goal to be able to direct my passion towards, then where's that desire going to come from? NO WHERE. it is NON EXISTENT. seriously, screw everyone. and screw people who make fun of me and mock me sitting on the bench. like i dont know that i am one of the shittiest players on the team? cause I DO. i think i basically figured that out last year. why didnt i just quit then? I dont know why I worry so much what other people think, but I do. I am completely and utterly embarassed of the fact that I dont play and that I only get "sympathy" time. Like tomorrow, we are playing a shitty team and we are going to be up like 8-0 in the first 15 mins, so therefore i am going to see a ton of playing time because even by putting in your crappiest players the coach knows he has absolutely no chance in hell of losing. and this embarasses the crap out of me. i am utterly ashamed. i dont know why i thought i had a chance. i really dont. i wish i could just quit now. i might as well. what difference do i make in this world? not much

My current music obsessions are:

Fall Out Boy- Sugar, We're Goin' Down
Further Seems Forever- Hide Nothing
Relient K- Be My Escape
Coldplay- Speed of Sound
Acceptance- Seeing Is Believing
Green Day- Holiday
The Format- The First Single
The Format- Wait, Wait, Wait

I am definitely in one of those moods where I just NEED to get out of high school and get out of Antioch. I have been so so so sick of my friends lately and seriously just feel like I can rely on no one. I have especially been getting sick of stupid sophomores and all I can think about is Taylor. Why does my heart keep reaching out to him? Does this mean something, that it has been about a year since we've been seperated and I still am finding myself longing for him? Or is it only because when times get rough, I turn to him for comfort? Because times have definitely been pretty damn crappy lately, and he has been on my mind a lot more than usual. He is coming home in about two or three weeks...I am so excited. There is one problem, unfortunately. He has a girlfriend now. I cant just keep telling myself that this boy is at my beck and call whenever I feel like I need him. He's not going to be in love with me forever. He's moved on, and I thought I did too. I just dont know why I feel like, if I tell Taylor I still have feelings for him, he'll drop everything and return to me. I KNOW this isn't the case, but I still feel like I have total control over the entire situation. Is this the most self-centered, big-h eaded notion ever or what? I dunno...all I can think about is that one amazing night that I spent with him, the night after we'd been apart for so long, months, and without any words even being spoken...we just knew that we both were still totally in love with each other and we just spent the entire night in each other's arms and when I left in the morning he kissed me goodbye, like we used to when we were boyfriend and girlfriend.....and it just felt so right. That night meant more to me than any other night we ever had together, and i dunno..that memory just keeps me wanting to fight for "us." The one thing stopping me: the fact that we will be like 400 miles apart in less than 3 months, and in two seperate states. This is what keeps me from telling him how I feel, and this is what keeps me from following the one thing that has always been right in my life. This is what keeps me from being with my best friend in the entire world, the one person that is my perfect match. I know he is. And even if we aren't soul mates, or if things don't work out in that romantic sort of way, Taylor will always, always be my best friend. He is the one person who gets me more than anyone else has in my entire life. He is the one person who has always, always been there for me throughout EVERYTHING. He has laughed with me, cried with me, definitely fought with me, and grown up with me. We discovered life together, hand in hand, and learned from each other along the way. Taylor is the only person in the entire world who knows absolutely everything about me, and the only person who I feel completely, one hundred percent myself around. We understand each other in a way that is completely foreign to anyone else. We stopped talking for months, and with one simple phone call, we picked up right where we left off, as though we never spent time apart. it was so natural, so comfortable, so right. I hate knowing that he is off at school and we are so far apart, and he's not there to hold me when I'm sad, laugh with me at my stupid jokes, and rejoice with me in the good times. i even miss his stupid mini-van. at least the freaking kid can DRIVE. i miss everything about him. i miss his laugh. i miss his amazing body- man was he ripped. i miss his cute, preppy style. i miss running my hands through his hair. i miss how dumb he could be at times, and the way he's play fight with me when I'd make fun of him. I miss his lame taste in music. I miss being called "TG" (Taylor's girl). I miss being attached to his hip all the time. I miss being able to tell people, "Yeah it's almost two years now." I miss wearing his big, baggy sweatshirts and the smell all his clothes carried: the scent of his soap and deodorant and his mints, mixed with the smell of chlorine (that's a swimmer for you). I just miss being able to hold hands as we made a quick trip to the store, and I miss him putting his arm across my shoulder. I miss knowing that now I can't dream of our future together anymore. I can't test out my favorite baby names with the last name "Pechauer" anymore. So much for Logan, Collin, Kylie, and Emma. I hate having to keep this silent. If he's happy with her, I don't want to ruin that for him. All I want is for him to be happy. I don't know how things could work out. They can't. All odds are against us. Just to be able to be with him again....

I am off of school today, and tomorrow too. Last night was not a good night. It was a bad start to my break. I had a soccer game, and I was in a good mood. We won 5-2. We beat Warren! Now that's incredible. Warren always creams us big time. So I left the game in a good mood, and I was looking forward to seeing Bobby afterwards but he had disappeared (he was at the game) so I was a bit disappointed. But it wasn't a big deal. I called Kara to see if she wanted to do something, and she sort of hesitated and she's like, yeah I am doing something with Gina. And then she's like, K gotta go bye. I was just fuming, because I am getting to the end of my rope here. I have just felt so left out lately and I have really felt like I have no best friend lately. I am not going to get into detail cause it will just make me even more upset. But I called Gina and talked with her for a little bit but I didn't get all my feeling out. She was like, well i have to go eat dinner, I'll call you back soon and we'll finish this conversation. And she called back and all she did was beat around the bush. She just talked about soccer and summer vacay and friends and all this nonsense. I was mad so I just hung up and cried. I guess I am not necessarily "mad" at anyone. I am just progressively becoming more hurt. And I don't think its really anyone's fault, its just the way things are working out lately. I dunno. I am just moody lately, and I have been in a bad mood ever since that one soccer game, and everything just gets to me. I seriously have done nothing so far today. No one has invited me anywhere and not a single person has called me. The most exciting thing I did was go to work with my mom and hang out with a bunch of 4 year olds. Oh, and I had P.T. yay. Larry is my best friend now. I really just feel like I am not important to anyone except all those gay sophomores I am becoming friends with lately. Maybe I am just overreacting, and I probably am. But I don't care. I have been in an excellent mood for like the last month, so I am allowed some down time after this "high" of mine. I just feel so lonely lately. And tonight and tomorrow look to be just as depressing, too. :( it's just me and my dog, i guess. sweet, what a life. i just want a friend who I can have to myself. Someone who will make me feel special. :(

I saw Taylor earlier. We went out to breakfast. This is the first time we've seen each other in months. It was a lot of fun, and I really enjoyed seeing him again. Sometimes I wonder about "us." I wonder if sometime down the road we'll see each other again after years of not talking, and we'll just fall in love again. Like in the movies. But life doesnt play out like the movies do. We are both seeing other people right now. He has a girlfriend. I am totally happy where I am, too. I feel like I am one hundred percent over him and our past. But sometimes I just cant help but wonder. I always thought we'd end up together. I always assumed time would find a way to bring us together again. What will happen when I go to school this fall? I wonder if we'll see each other at all. I wonder if we'll even talk. Maybe it would be best not to. I dont know. But I always wonder if we are meant to be, if fate will work within us and bring us together again. I have honestly pictured this is in my mind since the idea of college began to draw closer and closer, which I think was finally the summer after my soph. year. I wonder why I am even thinking this at all, since I just feel so positive of my feelings for him- I am TOTALLY over him. I really think I am. I have been ready to get over him since last summer, it just finally happened in the last few months. I like Bobby, I really do. I mean, he's not someone I'll end up with in a few months down the road, and I plan on dating around in college like no other (can you say ISU= STD capital of the world? haha :) ) but I have always just had this feeling in my heart that Taylor is the perfect guy for me. We are perfect for each other. But who knows if this is something I 'll look back at and laugh about in a few years, once I've finally found that one person I am truly meant to be with. I mean, maybe I am just young and naive. Like, I think about how crazy I was about Ryan my freshman year and how I wanted no one else but him and dreamed of our lives together after high school and now? wow, that just cracks me up. It was ridiculous to think that. But I mean, I dunno. I guess this is where the cliche comes into play: only time will tell.

Wow, so my crazy sophomore obsession is definitely over, I think. Well, I am almost positive. A lot happened this weekend....wow. On Friday, I finally went out with Bobby. We went to Phil's bonfire, and had plans of leaving around 9:45 to see a movie. I had fun at the bonfire and Bobby was sweet and all, and we were very cuddly and touchy (I think thats just how Bobby is), and then it came time for the movie. I was informed that someone (some sophomore) had an 11:15 curfew...WOW. what a nerd. Therefore, our 10:10 movie would most likely not work out. Nope, not at all. So I was a little upset at everyone, and I just ditched the movie, and the bonfire too, and I drove Bobby back home, but not before we drove around for like 25 mins trying to decide what to do. Finally, we just went to his house and he pulled some cheesy line like, let's look at the stars, so we did. We layed out on his front lawn, and we were cuddling and laughing and joking around and then he just leaned over and kissed me. And we kissed some more. It was cute, really. So move ahead to Saturday afternoon. Bobby calls after I get done with soccer, and he wants to know if I want to come over. I am excited, so I say sure, and head over as soon as possible. I was there all afternoon and once again, we cuddled, and there was more kissing, blah blah blah. I suddenly just thought, What am i doing here? Like, wow, I have liked this kid for such a long time (or at least been attracted to him in some way) and here I am...and I am not feeling elated in any way whatsoever. It was just the most disappointing feeling. I am also just trying to be really realistic here. I mean, he ditched me about four or five times before we were finally able to hang out, and evem after that...he was (IS) so frusturating. It's just not a good situation. I am too old and mature to deal with the crap that a sophomore (who cant even drive!) has to go through, like early bed times and the inability to drive himself places and what not. It just made me realize how different the lives of sophs and seniors are. I mean, I have changed SO much since I was a little sophomore. SOOOOO much. It would just be ridiculous to pursue something like this. It would be so unrealistic. I'd just end up getting hurt in some way or another. I already have been hurt like 10 times in the last 8 day. So now...I have decided...I am totally over him. Martin came over last night, and we watched a movie together and suddenly I just suddenly really liked him again. I mean, I have always always always had a thing for him, ever since those snow days....and ahh i don't know. I know it sounds stupid cause I am going from boy to boy, but...I really don't know what it is, I have always had this thing for Martin and last night it sorta came back again. We cuddled and I fell asleep on him and he rested his head on mine (which for martin, by the way, is a big thing. he's not exactly a romantic person) and it just felt so RIGHT. I wasn't second guessing anything. So I have heard lately that Martin was considering asking me to prom, but I am not sitting around and waiting for anything to happen, so I am going over there tonight to talk to him myself! I am going to get things done on my own! :D I am really excited, and I hope it all works out okay. I am a little nervous actually....eeek. But I think things will work out for the best. I will report back after the fact. Wish me luck. :/

This is the number of days I have left of school! My senior year- it is almost OVER! The thought of this is actually really heart-wrenching. I feel like ever since turnabout, our group has become SO close, and I have been becoming so much closer with my friends- girls AND guys. I love all of my friends so much. I spent way too much time just wanting to get out of this crap-hole school, and now that it's ending...i want to cry at even the thought. I know life can get ten times better than it is now...but I LOVE where I am right now. I don't WANT life to change, I don't want to leave all of my wonderful friends who I suddenly seem to be getting so much closer to. Seriously, these guys are my LIFE. I can't imagine all of us splitting up and being hundreds of miles apart. I have friends going to Iowa, Winona, Bradley, U of I, and some even Michigan. I know nothing will ever be the same again. It's a terrible thought. I know I have been taught to just stare fear in the face, and not to be afraid of change, because change is a good thing...but I am not in a position in my life where I am willing to accept change! I love high school!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!! Omg, 28 days. 28 days until my life changes, forever. Am I willing to accept this?

4-13-2005

Wow, I just had the coolest night. It is something about this weather, or something about my new crush, but I have just been in a wonderful mood ever since Cali. It’s like I am totally refreshed and ready to face the world. I have been so giggly lately, and I think it’s great! It gets me through the week. The days just fly by like they never have before! But anyways! Today was great! School was awesome. I saw Bobby THREE times J, twice before 8^th hour, and he even walked me to English today. So anyways. After school, I drove Bobby to work, except that I ended up picking up like three more people along the way that had to be places. But I ended up driving home my math friend Daryl, who is also Bobby’s “friend” and we talked about Bobby and its sort of fun doing that with with a guy’s friend. It reminds me of when I started dating Taylor and Joe, too. Checking up with all his friends to see what the 411 is. I love that. So after I dropped Daryl off, I went home, got ready for soccer, and practice went really well, I have to say. I have been playing right defensive back this week so far, and I think I have been doing GREAT. I think I’ve been doing really well @ practice. And I know Ms. O’Conner has noticed. Maybe this will mean something. IT BETTER. But anyways, I was feeling really good after practice, and I was in a great mood. So Gina and I decided to go to the boy’s volleyball game. It was pretty close during the second game, and then our team win! But then  during the third game, we were creamed. Oh well, I think they did really amazing during the second game. I am proud of them still. ANYWAYS the best part. Bobby called on my way to the vball game, and he’s like hey, wanna hang out tonight? I was totally pumped, so I’m like SURE! I told him I’d call him after the volleyball game. So I call after and tell him I’m around, and I’m totally looking forward to hanging out with him, but he’s like, Um we’re gonna go get something to eat. So I’ll call you soon. I’m like, Fine! I’m going to the library with Kara. So Gina, Kara, and I all go to the library except I’m behind them a ways and I call Kara when I get there and she’s like, Did you know that THEY’RE here?!?!?!?! So I walk in and Bobby and his friend Nolan are chilling reading Cosmopolitan magazines! Eventually, I’m like sooo I am not going to spend my whole night sitting in a library, so let’s go. But I was definitely trying to hint that I just wanted to be ALONE with Bobby. Eventually his friend left, and I felt kind of bad but I was so happy that I was just finally alone with this kid. So we drove back to his house and watched a movie. And by the way, he has the cutest dog ever. Major plus on my his part. So we’re downstairs watching a movie, and he’s sitting awfully close to me, and it was kinda fun. Well, really fun. And then his mom came home so I went upstairs to say hello, and we head back downstairs and as we’re sitting he puts his arm around me…. (ahhhhh)! And when I told him I was cold, he rubbed my arms and legs and pulled the blanket tighter around me…oh it was just so cute. I seriously feel like I am in junior high again, but dude, who cares. It was so cute. And we cuddled and then he made me leave at 9 cause he was scared since his dad was coming home (more on that later). So he walked me to my car, and it was a little awkward at first, and I just sorta started giggling again (I do that a lot when I am nervous around boys) and then he just reached in and gave me a great big hug. It was awesome. J hehehehe. I had so much fun!!!!!!!!! I love this boy! I am starting to have some thoughts about prom and college and ahhhhhhhhhh. Well, I have to go call Kara so I will write more on this topic later. But anyways, I had a blast ALL day today, and Bobby was the perfect way to end my GREAT day!

yesterday was awesome! so much better than my friday night. ugh. but anyways, I hung out with Natalie all day long, which I have to say, is not something I've done since like, junior year. I had a blast! We played a nice game of tennis (she kicked my butt), and then we took our dogs for the longest walk ever. We were gone for like 2 hours. We were all exhausted, dogs included! Then we watched a movie (The Incredibles! Cute!) And THEN we headed off to a friend's bonfire, someone who I don't know very well except for my LRM class, and it was alright. People were smoking, and it kind of grossed me out (what can i say, i am total straight edge) and I wanted to get away from the reek of the cigars as soon as possible (cigars? come on, please! we're 18 here people!). But I tired to have fun while I was there anyways. We played some soccer and I met a girl from our rival team, Warren. She was really sweet. I'll be sure to kick her butt when we play them. :) jk. I had fun getting to know the guys there, they were really cool. There was one, Carl, who I've known of since my frosh year, but I've never talked to, and we talked and got to know each other and he was SO cool!  He said he's going to yell my name every time he sees me at school now. sweet, i guess. ;) anyways, i left soon after and came home to bed cause I was exhausted. I had gotten like 4 hours of sleep the night before. I reffed a soccer game this morning (made 20 bucks) and came home and tanned a little....ahhhh I love spring! this week will be a good week, I predict. Happy Spring everyone!

So, a great fun-filled Friday night quickly turned sour as I was leaving Lindsay's. Today was a really nice day, and it was even better because the weather was so beautiful and sunny, warm weather just makes me so happy. It really, really does something to my personality. I felt wonderful. So today was a good day, and soccer practice was a blowoff day, and we were home by 5 and I was really, really looking forward to Lindsay's bonfire tonight. It's all I could think about all day. I was especially looking forward to it because I was planning on asking Bobby to come along, and I had aniticipation building up inside of me all day long (in a good way) and when I finally saw him during eigth hour, it was great, and I asked him to go tonight and he said YES and asked me to call him later. So all through soccer I was dying to get home, I just kept thinking about the bonfire and fun and friends and Bobby. I called Bobby around 7:00 and he didn't answer. No big deal. I called again around 7:30. still no answer. A little nervous, but it's okay. 8:00 comes, I call, leave a message, tell him to call me if he wants me to pick him up and bring him to Lindsay's. I drive over to Lindsay's, following Phil and Jeanna, and i have my music playing a bit too loud I suppose, and suddenly I reach for my phone and realize that I have a missed call. It was Bobby. So I call back. Someone named Darrell answers. I think it's the psycho guy from my math class! But he's a cool guy anyways. I like him. So Darrell answers, and he's says Bobby is in the basement getting yelled at by his father, and Bobby will not be coming to the bonfire tonight. I was majorly bummed, but asked Darrell to have Bobby call me anyways, if he gets the chance. Well, I keep my hopes up until about 9:30, and still no call, so I figure, well, he's not gonna call, oh well. We tried calling him once more but his phone was off. I didn't let it get to me, to be honest, cause I was having a great time with my friends. An absolute blast. Then the night winds down, and everyone's getting tired, so I swear, every single person there had some significant other that they were cuddling with, and I let that whole "boyfriendless" thing get to me AGAIN and I just started focusing on how Bobby wasn't there with me tonight, and what fun we would have had if he had come, and I was so majorly disappointed in what an ASS he can be sometimes, just cause he does dumb stuff and always gets in trouble! His dad's a cop, I mean, come on, use your head! I could feel tears tugging at my eyes, so I'm like, alright, I gotta book it before things get worse. Sooooo I'm up there, attempting to get my car out, and it's not looking too hot, so Gary tries to move it for me, and he isn't doing too well either. So Derek comes up, moves his car which was behind mine, and I am free to go. Sooo I'm backing out and it's really dark without these street lights, and suddenly I realize I'm really close to a car thats parked on the street behind me. So i brake, switch gears, put it into drive, and take off. Or so I think. There was gravel on the road, and my back tire was caught on the dip off the pavement, and as I'm trying to pull out my tires spin on the gravel and my car lurches backwards and i fricking HIT the car behind me. I was in shock. I honestly couldn't believe it. Then, me, being stupud, tried to come up with some excuse like, nooo you didn't hit it, it just sounded like it. It was something else. Maybe no one heard. And I totally take off, flying down the road. I was scared out of my mind. No one seemed to have any reaction when I hit, so I was like, hmmm maybe it's just my imagination. I was so embarrased. I am making my way down 173 when I come to a red light, and suddenly my phone rings and it's a number I've never seen before. I answer anyways, thinking its Gina on someone else's cell calling me trying to figure out why I left so quickly. And it's Lindsay and Ashley and they're like, Hey....you need to come back here....did you realize you HIT a car? It was horrible. And they talk on for a little longer, and then hang up, and I'm just bawling my eyes out and I just want to go home but I'm turning around headed back to Lindsay's and then I get another call and Ashley is like, actually it looks okay....you don't need to come here. So I was so relieved that nothing was wrong, and I just went home bawling my eyes out from relief, and I just felt like the stupidest person in the world, and I was so ashamed for myself, and suddenly I came to the realization that I am a horrible, horrible driver. I can't follow roads on a map or directions that people give me, and I swing out in front of cars that I shouldn't, and everyone makes fun of my tollway driving and say they dont trust me, and I will never forget driving to the football game in Libertyville last year and always crashing my car on the highway (with 5 others in the car). I really am a horrible, horrible driver and it is just an awful realization. I am usually fine by myself, and I only go nuts when I have other people in the car, but after tonight, i guess thats not true because i was all alone, enjoying the solitude of my single solitary self, and i f-ing HIT A CAR. god I am so stupid. What an awful night. And I am SO disappointed about Bobby. I'm pissed that he didn't call to even explain himself. I mean, granted this is the first time we've ever really talked outside of school.....but STILL. We had a date, dammit!!!!!!!!!! Whatever. SCREW ALL MEN AND CARS. I will become a nun who travels by foot ONLY. I am going to bed to try and get over my own stupidity and ruinous day. Goodnight

Sometimes, it can be really depressing growing up with a best friend who has never seemed to fail at anything. I mean, seriously, the only thing I can even begin to consider her "failing" at would be the boyfriend area, but even now, she is dating Eric and they have been together for quite some time now, so there she goes, being all perfect again. I don't know, thats not even whats important. It's not who has the boy and who doesn't. No, no way. I don't care about that stuff. It's other stuff. Like, she just seems to be SO much better than me at EVERY LITTLE THING. And some big things too. It is so hard watching her excel at everything she does, while it seems like I am left behind in the dust. I am, at the same, very proud of her for accomplishing all that she has, but still, honestly. I really feel hurt sometimes. She got the one position for that stupid summer job over me, when I was the one who suggested we do it together in the first place cause it's the one job i'd been dying to get since like the 8th grade. And she beat me out. For soccer, she is just freaking idolized by the coaches, and she doesn't understand how DIFFICULT it is for me to sit there on the bench and just watch all this crap going on around me, while all along knowing that I am just as worthy of playing out there as anyone else. I am just so fricking jealous of her in every way possible, and I don't think she understands that not everyone can be as great as her, and god...i just want her to fail at ONE thing, just so she knows what its LIKE. I admit, I am just feeling this way because I am starting to get SO PISSED ABOUT SOCCER. I seriously HATE mr. trout for not playing me. I mean, 10 mins, if that, a game? how depressing. It seriously makes me feel like the biggest loser in the world. And i don't try and act like I am one of the big shots on the team, but I am a senior "leader" and I am one of the people who is expected to be a positive influence to the rest of the younger girls, and I dont understand how I am supposed to do that if I don't even have their respect. They all probably laugh at me and think I must be the crappiest player alive because I don't even get into the games.

and on other news, i totally want to ask Bobby OUT (as friends? ;) ) but I don't know, I guess I am just really nervous about it in a way, but come one he's a freaking SOPHOMORE, why can't I just do it! I know he's in to me...I can tell. But....ahhhhh I don't know. whatever, its late, i gtg to bed. Night everyone

~Kayaking
~Cranberry/Raspberry Snapple
~boys ranging in age from 8-12
~The hot guy from the surf shop who's size we asked...
~nauseating car rides...
~Mission Beach
~Looking at license plates (Nevada is so far away!)
~Meeting nice boys named Ben. Double lip ring!
~Lifeguard Station 18! All the action happens here
~The cute 10 year old from the Del
~Sharky Coronado and Stinky Pirate
~Flying a record-fast 17 min flight to O'Hare
~Getting hit on by authentic Mexican men :-
~Tijuana=Carmex=sad Mel
~Rollerblading along the board walk @ Mission
~The suckiest game of sand volleyball ever
~Getting taken out of the water by the Mission lifeguard. It's rip-tide area!
~Seeing a baby seal up close and personal!
~Getting hot tans
~Soaking up the sun every morning by the pool
~Giggling over 14 year old boys
~Our determined hunt to find the fitness room and spa
~Boogie Boarding...major chafing!
~Sunflower seeds galore!
~Gino and Alyssa? Ben can't hear very well... :)
~Watching Illinois beat out Louisville in a hot little Mexican bar along the beach at Mission. Go ILLINI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!
~MooTime ice cream, all the way! DELICIOUS!
~The man over the speaker at the San Diego airport with his early-morning wise cracks. "Please be sure to stand in the middle of the moving walkway as to inable people to move to the left and right of you. Thank you." "There are no automobiles in the airport, or your car will be towed." "If your ego is unable to fit through the terminal gate, you will have to check it, please."
~The hot boy sleeping on the plane back to Chi-Town
~The really tall, black basketball player walking down the streets of Tijuana! HOLLA HOLLA HOLLA
~cute boys we saw: Smart Boy, Ben and his friend with the crazy Z-name, hat/sleeping/soccer boy, Del Boy, Buff surfer boy at the pool, and the little possible sophs that we stalked on the pool deck
~Mr. and Mrs. Wirth's little spats. Those two know how to argue :D
~Crazy hyena laughing boy at the San Diego airport
~Shopping for string bikinis- double knot those suckers!

Today is BEAUTIFUL out! It is perfect weather! What a great way to start spring break. As of 12 o'clock noon today, I consider myself to OFFICIALLY be on spring break! Technically, we were let out yesterday after school, and for everyone else, spring break could officially begin. But I have had soccer practice both yesterday and today. Today was our last practice and now I'm FREE as a bird! SAN DIEGO IN THREE DAYS!!!!!!!!! Last night, Gina and I slept at Jeanna's. I had the best night's sleep ever, while Gina and...Jeanna...didn't. Gina and I slept in the nook, which by the way, has yet to be de-sanatized. YUCK! Eric, James, and John were over for awhile, and then John and James left at like 10:30 (what a bunch of wusses!) so Eric, Gina, and I crawled in the nook and I took a brief nap. Eric woke me up when he asked what time it was, and I tend to say some weird things if someone talks to me while I'm sleeping, and I was just blabbing on and on and finally Gina's like, "Mel- stop!" Gina and I were alone after Eric left and suddenly we realized we didn't know what happened to Jeanna. We got up and saw her zonked out on the floor. We feel so bad for her. Phil (her "wonderful" boyfriend soon to be ex, I hope) was supposed to come over last night, except he ditched us for Savanna (the girl who he could very possibly be cheating on Jeanna with) said he'd come over by 11, never showed up, never called, and then left for FLORIDA this morning without so much as a goodbye! and we leave for San Diego in three days so who knows what will happen. What a guy, I tell ya.

anyways....so yeah spring break is official. Tonight I am having some people over for a "game night" except I think it will just end up being me and gina. poop. we forgot to actually tell people about it, so not too many people know. we'll get the word out somehow, i guess. and somehow i got dragged into going over to eric's house for awhile, and i cant stand the kid. why am i going? i dunno...whatever. not the end of the world. I can make the best out of it. Be brave, Mel! Actually it's more like, keep my agression under control.

ok gotta go shower! I am countin' down the minutes and hours till my flight takes off towards warm, sunny, BEAUTIFUL California!!!!!